The One Reason Your Fitness Sucks and You’re Not Losing Weight.
It’s not because you’re lazy: Everything changed for me once I removed this self-imposed roadblock
I’d do the same thing most days.
I slumped into my office chair, grabbing my belly fat while mindlessly staring out the window, using every ounce of energy to internally debate whether I should go to the gym that evening.
It was a dire internal conflict I carried for years, and for one profound reason: my only connection to exercise was the idea of losing weight.
I sit here now at 12% body fat, with an entire fitness schedule for the week ahead, zero intimidation, and a fridge packed with food I enjoy eating.
Looking back, my health kick efforts crashed and burned like a beat-up Toyota because weight loss was my north star.
I was fixated on shedding pounds, which meant I was in a constant mental tug-of-war, fighting knee-jerk emotional decisions of “Go on, then it’s just one Krispy Kreme,” “I’ll go to the gym tomorrow,” or “I’ll start my diet back up next week.”
My brain was autocorrecting in favour of short-term rewards like indulging in takeout, enjoying multiple chocolate bars, spending an entire weekend watching Netflix, or mindlessly scrolling through social media.
In the moments I made those poor dopamine-fueled micro-decisions gradually steering my Ocean liner off course, I blocked out the distant promise of leading a healthier lifestyle.
It’s what Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman describes as “Temporal Discounting.”
It’s when people prefer quick rewards now over more considerable benefits later. Think of the lotto winner who takes their $1 million upfront instead of the math working out way better for $10 million over five years.
That was me with my fitness.
I opted for the quick, satisfying dopamine hits versus the faraway prospect of having the physique of my dreams.
Because I only thought in weight loss terms, it became hard to detach my emotions, so I felt every bump in the road and was constantly feeling demotivated.
If I had one lousy meal, not only would I not enjoy it, but in the back of my mind, I’d think, “I’ve gotta run 5km to burn this off.”
Being stuck like glue to losing weight was a total head trip.
A stroke of luck — made my fitness not suck
It changed everything.
Just like momentum has this upward trajectory, so did my downward spirals. One missed gym session would lead to two, and the same would happen with my nutrition — takeout on a Thursday would always lead to a weekend of binge eating.
It gave me a sense of quiet desperation and kept me constantly overwhelmed. There was so much downward pressure on me to fail.
But fate dropped a seed of luck into my lap.
I turned the TV on, and Prime Minister Boris Johnson made a breaking news announcement, interrupting every television broadcast in the U.K.
“from this evening, I must give the British people a very simple instruction — you must stay at home!”
Being stuck indoors during a pandemic as a single man nuked my anxiety to smithereens — but the ironic twist was it made me go outside for long walks purely for mental health benefits.
I didn’t realise that for the first time in my life, I had removed my association with exercising to weight loss. I now thought of it more as getting my psychological fix.
It was a real turning point for me. All the friction disappeared, and it all felt like a lot less effort.
Unsurprisingly, I started getting substantial health and fitness results, losing 56 pounds. It happened once I removed my self-imposed roadblocks by leaning into things I enjoy and not obsessing over finish-line targets like weight loss.
Walking for my mental health evolved into running. Then, I wanted that feeling to linger longer, so I got into weight training, which has now expanded into a full-time programme of running three times a week and lifting weights.
And guess what?
When I focused less on melting fat and more on the mental benefits, I started doing stuff I liked, like long walks, selective exercises at the gym, and swapping out low-activity pursuits for activities that kept me moving.
I’ve been able to sustain these things ever since.
If I can do it, why not you?
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